Misery Loves Company

MISERY LOVES COMPANY Sharing the Pain Closely associated with the reasons behind war, find the ideas of tit for tat and pay-back, impressment and detachment. See Also: Vengeance Quotient               Acting Out - Forced   Arsing the Asses    The Long Burn     Despoiling the Spoiled     An Eye for an Eye        Guilt       Making Others Look Bad     Misery Loves Company     Playing God     Popping     Rubbing It In     Taste: Giving People a Taste of their Own Medicine     Trophyism     Turning the Tables The misery loves company component is the idea that system abuse creates a scenario in which large numbers of injured people keep passing the painful stuff onto other people rather than trying to pull themselves out of a bad situation.  It also describes how people become selfish, self-serving and self-pitying during this process.  Pain becomes a way of life but remains covert and psychologically manipulated so that people don’t process its negativity properly.  The negativity is channeled into action-driven pathways as productivity and necessity.  People learn to bypass concerns about the negativity by pretending it is actually necessary or positive. Deep bitterness and lust for vengeance: The concept of tit for tat applies here in the sense that the system-abused people want to press upon others their plight and all they have been through; they want to show up and mar people they feel have it easy compared to them; they want to bring people down into the abuse, pain and feelings of degradation (impressment - a coined word here, used to indicate that a person’s bad feelings coming from abuse are deliberately impressed onto another person) they have been made to feel by their attackers.  Part of this is: “If you only knew everything I have gone through” to explain why they are participants of the system abuse now, or why they are targeting certain groups because someone from that group (like a gender or skin color) had been a perpetrator.  It also includes detachment in the form of “Why should I stick my neck out for you?  No one every really helped me.”  The idea here is that people were mean and selfish around this person, so this person doesn’t have anything emotionally to give others.  Also in this is the desire to pay back a group for what members of that group had done to them (like a country’s inhabitants.)  Paying back is a form of tit for tat (retaliation) but might include more hand-to-hand combat versions of personal pettiness and emotion.  “I’m going to pay you back for what you did to so and so.” Tit for tat is a more general form of retaliation which includes things like targeting all Muslims for blowing up western world buildings in public places. There is also an excessive attachment to the idea of responsibility and the idea behind actions/consequences behavioral control to the point people don’t have much to give or help others.  People develop misguided ideas about what real responsibility looks and feels like because it is taught and reinforced within unnecessarily strict or hostile environments. They use behavioral modification programming techniques to etch in the notion of a type of self-reliance which ultimately makes people too detached from working together as family or community or to trust real sharing and compassion among themselves.   There is nothing wrong with being responsible, but when you add the element of hidden system abuses, the attitude toward responsibility takes on another layer.  There is a punishment/discipline part to this concept which uses shaming, hitting, forced injections, mind control and keeping people from gaining real freedom behind this.  When they reach out for help or are not functioning properly in their life, the abusers bring in the actions/consequences modality which is really not about responsibility but punishment and keeping people from believing human nature is good enough to offer help and support. The ugliness and hatefulness is like a disease that gets transmitted from host to host.  Two results from all this are either learned helplessness or a kind of hateful or cold “mind my own business”, “me first” or “business first” attitude. The point of no return: The issue of “being dirty” lends itself to trying to get everyone dirty, too, and keeps people afraid to try to get out of the dirty system.   People feeling they have taken things too far (in becoming dirty) find themselves in a predicament.  They find solace in having everyone around them dirty, too, because it lessens the feelings of insecurity in being reminded of another way of doing life.  If everyone is dirty, then no one has to feel guilty.  If someone comes in and acts like a hot shot, all clean and perfect, this leads to resentment.  Reaching for a way out can be or seem life threatening, so it is easier, according to this mindset, to stay inside the ring and to try to get hot shots pulled in, too - or to get rid of them. One of the games here is to suck them in, bring them down and then get rid of them.   Misery loves company because it becomes the status quo and something better can actually feel like pain or can seem scary like it is too good to be true. Updates: 2021/01/14 PAGE STARTED misery loves company, copied from rivergoldnet;  previous updates on rivergold dot net: Separate Page re-started 02/11/2018-moved from Commentary section-had been its own page before that; Misery Loves Company section updated 01/07/2017